I, Muehlenhaus. U, Riedermaus.

Intervening Event: I came downstairs last night at around 12:30. No lights are on, as the dog was asleep so I had turned them off. Stepping off the stairs, I realize the smell of shit permeates the entire living room. Pitch black. Frantically searching for a light. Find one. Dog hunched up in corner of kennel. Excrement across living room floor, just missing couch. Excrement in kennel all over mattress. Excrement on kennel bars. Dog looking very perplexed, sitting on only dry inches of kennel floor.

Panic: Birgit is asleep. Extremely tired from lack of sleep, long day dealing with K-12 educators in her computer lab at work, and guitar lessons. Don't want to wake her up. Dog is still stuck in cage, with shit. Shit is still all over the wood floor outside of cage and getting very close to our only nice piece of furniture -- the couch. Stench is so strong, I feel like puking.

Solution: Let dog out. Check to make sure she is not entirely covered in crap. Wipe up poop outside of kennel with paper towels, wet washcloths, and anything else I can get my hands on. Take Mette outside to see if she has to go more. She pees. Go back in. Get Mette a new chew stick. Continue cleaning. Carry comforter/bedding outside and throw it in Mette's empty kiddie pool. Liquid poop has rolled everywhere, under the cage, behind the cage, all over her toys. Get spray, attempt to get rid of the smell. Give Mette a bath in basement tub. Water every goes where. I am now drenched and covered in stench. Continue cleaning up around cage. Wake up Birgit while attempting to gut out the final remnants of crap off the kennel, where poop has gotten into and between the hinges, etc.

2:07 a.m. Birgit helps me clean up further. We throw the comforter cover in the wash. We play with Mette a little. Mette looks at us in dazed, sick confusion. Continues chewing on her stick.

2:34 a.m. I tell Birgit I must go to bed. I read 2.3 pages of High Fidelity and pass out.

6:45 a.m. Dog has the shits again. Can't stop going. Birgit is leaving for work. I must wake up and watch the dog and take her out as necessary.

6:47 a.m. Within two minutes of Birgit leaving the room for work, I pass out.

7:48 a.m. Phone rings and awakens me. Birgit on the horn. Knowing I wouldn't wake up the last time, asks me to take Mette out.

10:18 a.m. The dog seems to have finally gotten everything out that she needed to. I have no energy to work on anything today. Unshowered and unkempt.

Opinion: My day off has turned to shite!